Sunday, May 10, 2009

a poem for Mother's Day.

I hesitated to share this poem because the first time I read it- it made me a little teary. But then again, it doesn't take much to moisten my eyes these days. So, what they heck, a little too much emotion never hurt anyone right?

I first read/ heard this poem while attending my very first book group meeting in Boston. As a mother of one almost-two year old, and pregnant-but-not-ready-to-tell, with another,  I got quite choked up and cried in a room full of almost strangers. I wasn't quite used to my uncharacteristic show of emotions. I blamed it on pregnancy hormones, being new to town, missing friends and family, a multitude of things.  But now, as I mentioned, now I get choked up and teary at almost anything. It doesn't take much to make me cry. I can't label them with any real emotion either, they're not really happy tears or sad tears, they're just tears.  

I hear the kids sing primary songs- tears flow.  

I read a friend's thoughtful blog post about her own children growing up "too fast", I cry.

Contestants on the Amazing race say nice things about their teammate- yep, there's the lump in my throat.  

Everything from watching my babies sleep to watching friends struggle through or triumph over fertility complications, to hearing my friend casually tell me that her 8th grade son wants to go live in the U.S. for his sophomore year of high school while she stays here- they all get me feeling a little emotional.  

What is with me?  I'm thinking it's just part of being a woman, maybe intensified a little by being a mother.   

I love my job- wouldn't trade it.

I love my mom- wouldn't trade her.

Happy Mothers day to all of you.

and thank you for your examples!

and if you cry- just know you're in good company.

Let Me Hold You Longer- Karen Kingsbury

Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts, First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst.

But one day you will move away and leave to me your past And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts…

The last time that I held a bottle to your baby lips The last time that I lifted you and held you on my hip.

The last night when you woke up crying, needing to be walked, When last you crawled up with your blanket, wanting to be rocked.

The last time when you ran to me, still small enough to hold. The last time that you said you’d marry me when you grew old.

Precious, simple moments and bright flashes from your past- Would I have held on longer if I’d known they were your last?

Our last adventure to the park, your final midday nap, The last time when you wore your favorite faded baseball cap.

Your last few hours of kindergarten, those last few days of first grade, Your last at bat in Little League, last colored picture made.

I never said good-bye to all your yesterdays long passed. So what about tomorrow- will I recognize your lasts?

The last time that you catch a frog in that old backyard pond. The last time that you run barefoot across our fresh-cut lawn.

Silly, scattered images will represent your past. I keep on taking pictures, never quite sure of your lasts…

The last time that I comb your hair or stop a pillow fight. The last time that I pray with you and tuck you in at night.

The last time when we cuddle with a book, just me and you The last time you jump in our bed and sleep between us two.

The last piano lesson, last vacation to the lake. Your last few weeks of middle school, last soccer goal you make.

I look ahead and dream of days that haven’t come to pass. But as I do, I sometimes miss today’s sweet, precious lasts…

The last time that I help you with a math or spelling test. The last time when I shout that yes, your room is still a mess.

The last time that you need me for a ride from here to there. The last time that you spend the night with your old tattered bear.

My life keeps moving faster, stealing precious days that pass, I want to hold on longer- want to recognize your lasts…

The last time that you need my help with details of a dance. The last time that you ask me for advice about romance.

The last time that you talk to me about your hopes and dreams. The last time that you wear a jersey for your high school team.

I’ve watched you grow and barely noticed seasons as they pass. If I could freeze the hands of time, I’d hold on to your lasts.

For come some bright fall morning, you’ll be going far away. College life will beckon in a brilliant sort of way.

One last hug, one last good-bye, one quick and hurried kiss. One last time to understand just how much you’ll be missed.

I’ll watch you leave and think how fast our time together passed. Let me hold on longer, God, to every precious last.


  1. loved that poem. i told seth all i wanted for mother's day was for him to stop growing up.

    and don't feel bad about the crying, it's just part of being a mom. i got all teared up watching paige play duck-duck-goose at her mother's day tea.

  2. sheesh Toria, you're not the only one crying! It makes me so sad to see my kids growing up, and I try to hold onto it all and slow it down, but I don't think it's possible. Very sweet poem, that captures the true feelings of a mother. I'm just thankful I get to be one!

  3. Yep. I'm crying.

    Thanks for sharing that!

  4. what a beautiful photo of canyon!

  5. My little one is only 5 months old and I'm crying. I better go check on him, just to see him and fill my heart.

    Thanks for sharing Toria.

  6. Beautiful poem - even more beautiful babe. Harrison keeps asking for Canyon on the compeeter!

  7. I used to be a rock. I would roll my eyes as my mother cried at everything.
    After the first baby, there was some hormonal change...
    Toria, I cried after I read the title of that poem. Enough said.