Superman- and the rescue.

Asher had his last day of preschool and they celebrated with a party.  The note home to parents said "Costumes permitted- not required" or something like that.  I was pretty sure that meant Halloween type things, but so much of the English language is a little different here with the British, Australian and American influences.  Maybe they meant "swim costumes" or church type clothes?  The way I read the flyer it sounded like a given that kids wore "costumes" to parties on the last day of school.  Fun!

Anyway- the morning of, I remembered that Asher was allowed to wear a costume, so being the supermom that I am, I grabbed a superhero pajama top*, cut and safety pinned a cape on the shoulders (who doesn't have red fabric lying around?) and safety pinned a Superman logo on the front.  Asher was thrilled and I was happy that he went to school so excited and proud! We put it together and made it out the door in record time.   

----------change of subject-----later on that day-----------

Around 5pm the kids who live by us come outside and play until bathtime/ dinnertime/ bedtime.  It's a bummer that this doesn't happen until the early evening, but it's great that there are so many kids and great that we can get out of the house even with the heat.  I'm sure when it cools down, the kids will come out earlier. 

Asher looked out the window and saw 4 of the kids playing together (2 sets of sisters).  He headed outside in his costume and went over to play.  I followed shortly after with Ivy and a big blanket for the grass.  Within about 15 minutes Asher came walking back slowly, head down and said "they told me to stop following them and go away."  My motherly instincts immediately kicked in.  I wanted to give Asher a big hug and tell him not to worry about it AND I wanted to walk right over and give those girls a piece of my mind.  These are girls who he has played with in the past and who love to come over and play outside our place with Asher and Ivy's toys, so I had a pretty good idea which one of them said this to him.  I was mad, but tried to stay calm and give Asher some suggestions and tell myself that he needs to learn to work things like this out.  I also wasn't sure he was all that hurt by it. I think I was more upset than he was, but he could have just been being tough.

SO, question to all you supermoms out there: What do you do when your kid is in a situation like this.  How do you know when to get involved and when to stay out of it?  Or do you always stay out of it?  What do you teach your kids to say or do in situations like this?

Here's what I did, but I still want feedback because I'm sure this is not the last time something like this will happen.

I told him that wasn't very nice and he could play with them if he wants or he can find something else to do.  He wanted to get his scooter and ride and get a snack to eat.  While he was inside getting his scooter, the girls came over to play with Ivy and sit on the blanket with us.  I kept my mouth shut- no need to stir the pot.  UNTIL, Asher emerged with the scooter and the girl (who I suspected with the perpetrator) said to me "why does he like to show off?"

me: What?

girl: repeats herself and says "he comes out dressed like Superman and now he's going to ride his scooter..."

me: "he's 3!" (she's 7 by the way) "He got to wear that costume to school today for a party and I let him keep it on AND he's riding his scooter because you told him to stop following you!"

Her comment was the perfect invitation for me to give the girl a mini lecture about not leaving anybody out, not Asher or any other neighbors, that if she wanted to play with his sister and his toys that she needed to include him, that it's hard for Asher being the only boy (there is one other one, but he was on vacation) and the whole "how would you feel...?" scenario.  She initially started to get defensive and tell me that she's the only girl at her school blah blah blah.  In the end, they all played happily ever after and I felt good putting the girl in her place (I talked calmly and didn't get mad).  Don't know how well it worked or how long I can do things like this for my kid(s). I also don't want kids playing with Asher because they "have to or his mom will get mad."  At the same time it also sent my mind racing again with all  reasons/ thoughts/ concerns I have sending Asher to school in the fall (more on that in a different post- I've already written too much).  

For now, I'm just looking for advice on when to rescue and when to let it be.

AND regardless of my actions and feelings,  I was so proud of Asher for being tough that afternoon and for being such a cute little super-guy (most of the time)!