Wednesday, May 19, 2010

being a mom

sometimes I get a complex about my talents, my goals, my ambitions.
I feel capable of so much, and clueless of how to do so many things.
I recognize my talents
as well as my weaknesses
and sometimes I get what John so appropriately calls the "jack of all trades, master of none" complex
and it makes me kinda down
so to perk me up, I think about all the things I am good at, kinda good at, interested in, or proficient at and wonder which one I want to become really good at.
which one I should focus my energy on.
so I start thinking about how to focus on multiple things.
what job would allow me to do this, with the freedom and flexibility to do that?
and then I wonder:
should I be diagnosed with A.D.D?
or maybe I should take one of those career placement test things so I can have someone (or thing) who doesn't know me tell me where to focus my energy?
and why didn't I do that in college?
why didn't I really feel like I had something mastered when I graduated?
maybe I should go back to school?
but what will I study?
I like this.
I'm pretty good at that.
I wonder if there's a program for....?
what job would allow me to do a little of everything?

and all of the sudden a light bulb turned on.
I thought, "I bet if I put in my talents, and interests and aspirations..."
"...the job that would fit me best would be being a mom"

(if it's possible to think/feel "duh" and "wow" at the same time, that's what happened)

I mean, I've heard all the poems and stories about how moms do it all.
and it's not that I was just seeing it fit together in that way for the first time.
it was just the first time that I realized that
I am meant for motherhood AND motherhood is meant for me
being a mom and doing the "mommy" things is fun to me.
it fits.
I enjoy it.
I mean, not that I don't have bad moments or not so exciting moments,
but I really
and I think by liking it, I'm pretty good at it.
and can become better at it.
I like exploring different talents and interests (often in the name of doing it for the kids)
I like that I can be a party planner/ cake decorator and a nurse/ health educator or a designer/ seamstress.
I can dabble in this and that and the other thing
and embrace my ADD.
I will learn to be ok with the idea that to everyone else, I may be a "jack of all {or some} trades, master of none."
and I will strive to be the master of one.
the one job I already have and that fits my skill set.
being their Mom.
which is no easy task and not something I can attain overnight
but it's do-able
and exciting.

and I did enjoy a happy, low key, Mother's day!


  1. Great post!

    When I had Seth assessed for ADHD, I spent a couple of hours with the psychologist. At the end, she told me she thought I had ADHD too. She then assured me it probably was useful in dealing with my kids (especially since they came all at once). I say embrace the ADD.

  2. That's exactly how I felt in college (and why it took me forever to figure out what to major in). I loved doing too many things! And, I had never thought about motherhood in that light, but that is perhaps why I feel comfortable in this role: I can teach, explore, design, create all under the umbrella of motherhood!

    Aren't we lucky?

  3. I love this realization on motherhood. I feel the same way so often ("Jack of all trades, master of none")
    Thanks for keeping us all up to date on your family. We miss you guys. Wouldn't it be fun to all live together in a Cul-de-sac or something? We could have communal meals and help each other out with babysitting!
    Someday I will figure out how we can come visit you in Dubi!

  4. T- you are an amazing mother, one I look up to tremendously. Thanks for being so great.

  5. I bet your kids love that they have a mother that can do anything! And a really fun mom at that. Thanks for the great post, I think a bunch of us feel that way a lot of the time

  6. This is a fantastic post, Toria. I hope I feel the same way when I am blessed with motherhood. For now I'm enjoying being good at philosophy! But I don't want that forever. I LOVE the teal photo of you and IVY. PRICELESS!!!

  7. NAIL ON THE HEAD. It's like you reached into my soul and pulled out this essay. I LOVE IT, and I LOVE YOU and YOU ARE AMAZING! I was just telling Stephanie yesterday that I hate that we all live so far from each other because I know if we were all next door neighbors we'd be a serious force to be reckoned with. I guess it's good though that we're so spread out and spreading our love around the world, because we're awesome like that. Seriously, you need to publish this somewhere and then you could add author to your list.

  8. I think we are twins seperated at birth. Where have you been my whole life. Love this post.

  9. Toria, you wrote this perfectly. You are an incredible mother and you do it amazingly well. In fact, I'm glad your kids are older than mine so I don't have to compare myself to you and feel bad that I'm not as cool of a mom as you are!

  10. thanks ladies! I always get a little nervous putting my feelings/ thoughts out there- wondering if they could be mis-interpreted or mis-understood.
    I'm glad you "get me" and I love you for it.
    of course the day after I wrote this, was a "when will John get home from work so I can get a break" kinda day and I wasn't feeling like such a good mom.
    go figure.

  11. Looking more beautiful than ever!

  12. Everyone needs some positive affirmation every once in awhile...even amazing moms such as yourself. Thanks for the boost (I needed it). : )

  13. LOVED this post!! As you just read from my blog, motherhood has been rough lately, so it was WONDERFUL to read your thoughts on being a mom. Thank you!

  14. I loved this. Thank you. I've been trying to enjoy retirement and love being a mom and i've been stuck in a funky place in between. I WILL find more joy in my mom-ness and less mourning for the validation I got from work (even though I was at home momming through work, too). Love to you on the other side of the planet.