being a mom

sometimes I get a complex about my talents, my goals, my ambitions.

I feel capable of so much, and clueless of how to do so many things.

I recognize my talents

as well as my weaknesses

and sometimes I get what John so appropriately calls the "jack of all trades, master of none" complex

and it makes me kinda down

so to perk me up, I think about all the things I am good at, kinda good at, interested in, or proficient at and wonder which one I want to become really good at.

which one I should focus my energy on.

and

I.

can't.

decide.

so I start thinking about how to focus on multiple things.

what job would allow me to do this, with the freedom and flexibility to do that?

and then I wonder:

should I be diagnosed with A.D.D?

or maybe I should take one of those career placement test things so I can have someone (or thing) who doesn't know me tell me where to focus my energy?

and why didn't I do that in college?

why didn't I really feel like I had something mastered when I graduated?

maybe I should go back to school?

but what will I study?

I like this.

I'm pretty good at that.

I wonder if there's a program for....?

what job would allow me to do a little of everything?

and all of the sudden a light bulb turned on.

I thought, "I bet if I put in my talents, and interests and aspirations..."

"...the job that would fit me best would be being a mom"

(if it's possible to think/feel "duh" and "wow" at the same time, that's what happened)

I mean, I've heard all the poems and stories about how moms do it all.

and it's not that I was just seeing it fit together in that way for the first time.

it was just the first time that I realized that

I am meant for motherhood AND motherhood is meant for me

being a mom and doing the "mommy" things is fun to me.

it fits.

I enjoy it.

I mean, not that I don't have bad moments or not so exciting moments,

but I really

like

motherhood.

and I think by liking it, I'm pretty good at it.

and can become better at it.

I like exploring different talents and interests (often in the name of doing it for the kids)

I like that I can be a party planner/ cake decorator and a nurse/ health educator or a designer/ seamstress.

I can dabble in this and that and the other thing

and embrace my ADD.

I will learn to be ok with the idea that to everyone else, I may be a "jack of all {or some} trades, master of none."

and I will strive to be the master of one.

the one job I already have and that fits my skill set.

being their Mom.

which is no easy task and not something I can attain overnight

but it's do-able

and exciting.

and I did enjoy a happy, low key, Mother's day!