Thursday, February 12, 2009

a list

2 days before giving birth, I made a list.

I was sitting in church and should have been thinking about church things, but I wasn't.  
I was sitting in church and had just responded to all the "you're still here?", "any day now?" and "I didn't think I would see you today" greetings.
I wasn't offended. I couldn't be.  I was the one who told everyone the week before "hopefully I won't be here next week!" 
BUT 
hearing those greetings got my mind reflecting on other late pregnancy "compliments" and commentary (some of which I was slightly offended or at least annoyed by). 
SO
I made a list (in no particular order, no responses and completely anonymous- won't say man or woman, stranger or friend). 
 
Feel free to comment with suggested responses (since I didn't include my real responses as part of my list)
OR share similar commentary you may or may not have received  while pregnant or may or may not have given to a pregnant woman.

Here's the list:
  1. "You're so big, it's awesome."
  2. "I saw your belly about 5 minutes before I saw your face" (coming around a corner)
  3. "I can't believe you're still hangin' in there!"
  4. "You have the most pokey-outey-est belly I have ever seen."
  5. "Your belly has definitely dropped.  You'll probably deliver any day."
  6. "Your belly is still high.  You've probably got a good few days left." (this was the same day as #5)
  7. "You've really popped out a TON these last few weeks."
  8. "It looks like we could stand under your belly and get a little shade"
and finally a more refreshing comment that made me laugh and moved the guy up a few notches on my non-existent favorite person list.
he approached me in all seriousness at the end of church that day and said
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
I reluctantly answered "sure" hoping he wouldn't ask anything about cervical dilation, membranes or whether or not I've tried this or that labor inducing trick.
Thankfully he didn't.
he asked: 
"Are you and John expecting another baby?"
(he was kidding of course, it was just refreshing to hear some comedy and a different take on the pregnancy comments)

photo taken the night before I went into labor.  We were going for another cool silhouette, but we didn't quite capture it with our little point and shoot.  As much as I don't like the photo- I thought it should be included for the sake of posterity as well as for all you inquiring minds who wanted to see belly shots along the way.  I do get rather big and rather "pokey outey", it's "awesome."

11 comments:

  1. I can NOT believe the last comment...really, it is an obvious condition at some point.

    Love the picture...you are an adorable pregnant woman.

    I think my favorite pregnant comment came from a stranger who was convinced that I was having twins. After correcting her, she then offered others possibilities for such a large belly.

    And my other favorite pregnant conversation I was a part of included 2 women not pregnant. One was asked if she was pregnant and she had to correct the person (who was obviously embarrassed). The 2nd lady then chimmed in and said she enjoyed being pregnant so much that she doesn't work on not being overweight. "I just loving having a natural shelf to rest my arms on."

    Hope this first week without Mom goes well.

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  2. Way to make a list. People always saying the craziest things. Hope things start to get normal. It seems it always takes a little time once family and friends have gone. We've been thinking about you guys and can't wait to meet Canyon!

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  3. I have a special place in my heart (not) for the stranger who told me "You can stop now" (in reference to having more kids) as I was leaving the toy store with Libby, a crying McKay and newborn Caden in the baby carrier! If only she could see me now...

    Good Luck with the three munchkins! Looking forward to more blogs of everyone...

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  4. That was an awesome post Toria. So funny. I'm not looking forward to more of those comments next time I'm pregnant (not yet). I wish I was there to help you out now that your mom is gone. I love all the new pictures. I love your family.

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  5. That was an awesome post Toria. So funny. I'm not looking forward to more of those comments next time I'm pregnant (not yet). I wish I was there to help you out now that your mom is gone. I love all the new pictures. I love your family.

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  6. That was an awesome post Toria. So funny. I'm not looking forward to more of those comments next time I'm pregnant (not yet). I wish I was there to help you out now that your mom is gone. I love all the new pictures. I love your family.

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  7. You had a beautiful belly! Love it.
    At least you didn't get "how many are in there?"

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  8. i should've made a list of all the things i heard, too... people are crazy sometimes w/ what they have the guts to say to pregnant women! i love your picture by the way. it's beautiful, and so are you!

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  9. It never ceases to surprise me the things people say to pregnant women. And most of the comments come from women who have been pregnant before! Hello!

    And then a couple weeks ago in church, my own husband made this comment to a pregnant woman in our ward, "You are ginormous!" Mind you, this woman isn't due until May. I was mortified and gave Dan quite the tongue lashing on the way home from church. Hopefully he's learned his lesson and that my friend will not need psychological counseling after her baby bump is gone.

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  10. Glad you gave Dan a talking to. tell him to use the "are you expecting" joke in the future. It scored many brownie points with me. but oh how I would have loved to hear your tongue lashing. in fact, i almost can!
    AND you are SO RIGHT! most of the comments on my list were from women and none of the comments were from strangers.

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  11. Most of your comments were from women? Don't they know better?
    I have found that men make the 'you're getting huge' comments, and women tell me how small and great I look. How fun that you made a list. I also get tired of answering questions like 'when are you due' 'is it a boy or a girl' 'how are you feeling' and 'do you have a name picked out yet'. I've always wanted to make a t-shirt that says:
    March 20th
    Boy
    Big and tired
    John

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