conspiracy theory

Moving to the other side of the world provokes lots of questions.  Many people express sympathy, wish us good luck or express admirations for "being so adventurous".  I have had many of the same thoughts and have been filled with excitement at times, but lately, it's mostly anxiety.  Tons of it.  I started biting my fingernails, sleeping restlessly, frequenting the bathroom, eating way too much chocolate, and experiencing weird aches and pains in my legs.  The underlying cause of the anxiety isn't that we're moving across the earth, it's that we don't know exactly WHERE in the eastern hemisphere we will be.  I wasn't totally honest with you when I posted last week and said that we were moving to Dubai- we are moving to Dubai, and then somewhere else.  John accepted a job with a firm that is headquartered in Dubai, however they asked if we were open to living outside of the UAE and accepting a more permanent assignment elsewhere.  We said "sure!" (it's an adventure right? of course, all is contingent upon the country/ city being live-able and safe for our family- specifically me and the kids though).   The boss man then throws out a few countries that are possibilities.  Are you ready?  India, Russia, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan.  Ya, I'm sure you're thinking similar things to what I was thinking- maybe worse.  However, I am (surprisingly?) open to discussion and consideration of all of them, minus the one that starts with a P.  

Now,  here's my question:  Looking at those four countries, are any of you wondering what the H my dear husband does for a living? Me too!  

I'm starting to think that he works at the same "bank" as Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn.

Here's why:

• He graduated BYU in mechanical engineering, worked a year in consulting and 5 years working back and forth between Lockheed Martin and Northrup Grumman on different government defense projects. These jobs were during our dating and newlywed years. I never saw his office and I wasn't even allowed inside the gates to the parking lot let alone the building he worked in.  I know he has some sort of "secret level clearance" from the government.  I think he was just a design engineer, but again, I never saw any of his work and never met any of his co-workers.
• He also did some real estate ventures on the side, namely our house renovation.  I knew John wasn't "content" in engineering, but his whole application and acceptance process for grad school was very sudden and pretty rushed (some of you may remember how hard it was for me). Who spends 2 years renovating a house to their taste and liking and satisfaction and enjoyment and (ok, I won't go on) and leaves and sells it?
• Then we moved to Cambridge MA for a year where he got his Master's in Real Estate development from MIT. OK, MIT for engineering makes sense.  Even computer science, physics, economics, but real estate development?  Real estate development? And a terminal, one year masters at that.  The majority of MIT students had never heard of the program, our own neighbors doubted it's existence when they couldn't find it listed on MIT's website . His program met in a random building, away from the other colleges and they even had a separate graduation ceremony in September while I'm pretty sure every other program at the school attends (and is invited to attend) the campus-wide graduation in MAY.  Our neighbors, the Lowe's, who share some of my suspicions, gave John a shirt from Bunker Hill Community College as his graduation present, because they were sure BHCC (the college up the street from MIT) had to be where John was spending his time because of the for-mentioned reasons, although I may have missed a few.  Oh and he had class trips to England, Germany, China, Hong Kong and a couple states in the U.S. as part of the "coursework".
• Now he's starting a job with an international real estate development firm based out of Dubai and we are looking at living overseas "somewhere" for the next few years. There's a statement in itself.  This job has been long in the making.  Just before Christmas I was embarrassed that we were telling people "it's either Seattle or Dubai". Not, Seattle vs Portland or Dubai vs Yemen.  Nope ours was Seattle? or Dubai and on to who knows where from there?  Besides that, who goes half-way around the world to "develop real estate"?  On the other hand, who hires my husband to develop real estate half-way around the world?
• John doesn't have an explanation for these and other loopholes. he just laughs, no justification, no defense- just a nervous laugh (ok, so maybe I imagined the nervous part).

At this point, there's no real turning back.  John left on Wednesday (yes, I'm husbandless). I miss him, I'm doing fine here, but excited to get our family and home in tact and move on with normal life (ha ha).  I'm planning and hoping to join him with the kids sometime in the next few weeks, I'm just waiting for the movers to come pack us up and before they can pack us up, I need to know where we're going.  yes, this is really my life, can you smell it too?  fishy. 

Any pointers for managing anxiety?