Friday, October 10, 2008

"wait a minute...?"

If you've been around Asher for any amount of time, you may know that he's full of questions.

I need your help.

Today on the way home from church (John was in a different car).  
We were driving in silence listening to music and I could tell Asher we were all a little tired and he was probably thinking over the events of the day.  I'm thinking the multiple times I asked him to sit next to me instead of on my lap because "my belly is getting to big", triggered this one, but I don't know.

Asher: "Wait a minute mom, how are you gonna get the baby out when it's after Christmas."
me: pause, thinking, "what?"
Asher: "when we get our baby brother, how are you going to get him out of your tummy."
me: "Well, my belly still has to get a lot bigger because right now the baby is still teeny tiny, but my belly will grow and grow because the baby inside is growing and then, when he's big enough, Dad and I will go to the hospital and the doctors will help get the baby out." (I was hoping that by not really answering the question and throwing in other details, that would suffice. not so)
Asher: "ya, but how?"
Me: I sort of repeat and reword things, saying that the baby will be strong and know how to get out, that he can come to the hospital and see me just like he did when Ivy was born, etc. etc.
Unfortunately, I don't think I ever really satisfied him he continued with

"are they going to use any tools?"
"how does the baby know how to get out of there?"

John soon pulled up next to us on our drive home and the subject was changed to an all our race to make sure we beat Daddy home.  
I know he'll ask again.  
I'm sure I'm not alone in this.  
Any good answers?

I was keeping in mind the fact that he likes to share his knowledge with others and I was trying to edit what he might tell teachers or friends too.


  1. Jared asked that when I was pregnant with Liza. I asked him what he thought. Jared was also 5 but we are also very blunt and use the correct words for body parts so it wasn't too uncomfortable to explain it to him. Once I told him he was satisfied. I was just glad that he didn't ask how the baby got in there cause I really wasn't ready for that one. I would've lied!

  2. Things have been easy in this department for me because of my c-sections, but usually the easiest thing to do is to just ask a question back at them: "what do you think?" My kids usually come back with something fairly plausible that I can agree with.

    When Jane asked how the baby got there in the first place I asked her "how do you think it did"? And she said, "You and dad just love each other so much that your bodies' love just created the baby" To which I said, yes. Which I will follow up with more information later, of course.

  3. That Asher...he's so smart. I have had conversations with Bennett about that before and it's been fine. I've been pretty blunt but you have to do what works for you. I miss you guys.

  4. So I know there is a website that talks specifically about stuff like that and gives you different terms to use for different ages. Unfortunately don't ask me if I remember the website. I do know that they said for kids this age you can say the baby comes through the birth canal without having to actually say what that is. However, I don't know if that would be enough info or to much for Asher. Good luck.

  5. question for Kim and Shannon- how blunt is blunt? I guess I'll have to email you. Thanks for everyone's imput. Marla, I was actually thinking that it might be easier to answer if I had c-sections. I guess the "what do you think" is the way to go, I don't know why I didn't think to use it then, I've used it plenty of times before. And Melissa, thanks for the term "birth canal" Again, of course I know it and have heard it, but didn't think to use it yesterday, that's a good one. I wouldn't be embarrassed if he repeated it to his teacher or friends, some of the other correct but "blunt" terms, might be a little much for me. Thanks everyone.

  6. Toria, from the Memmott's blog we learned a little from our old student Andrew. I copied this from their blog:
    "Andrew: I got a new baby brother last night. But he’s kinda gross.
    Me(Matt): That’s not very nice to say! I bet you love your new baby brother!
    Andrew: I do, but he’s gross. He decided to come out of my mom’s bum.
    So I thought that was funny but it doesn't really answer your question.

  7. I have no idea what to tell you. But the whole "What do you think" seems to be like a pretty good tactic. Let me know how you dealt with it.

  8. when I was pregnant with Dallas Becky's girls used to watch a Baby Story on TLC. They used to always ask me when I was going to squish my baby out. So that was all they needed to know, you push real hard and the baby falls out. Then if they say out of your bum? You just sort of say, uh huh and leave it at that. Can you tell we haven't really dealt with this question yet at our house.

  9. I love that you had this conversation...he is a smartie pants! Please tell me how you handle it b/c Taylor is already asking similar questions... hmmmm

  10. OK, Here is blunt for you..."there is a hole for wee-wee, a hole for poo-poo, and mommies have a hole for babies to come out" At least he will know he's not coming out with poop!

  11. There is a church handbook about this kind of stuff. It's a called 'A Parent's Guide', available from Distribution. It says that you should use correct terms and explain to kids that we only talk about these things with mom and dad because they're sacred, and that it's not appropriate to make jokes.
    Also, the birth canal is a good idea to start with. Sometimes, kids want a simple answer, and there is no need to go into details. You don't have to get specific unless they continue to ask. Good luck - I'm sure it will turn out just fine.

  12. luckily (?) i have c-sections, so the answer is easy - they just cut them out :)

  13. I found your blog through... actually I dunno who's. Anyway, when I was preggo with my most recent baby I was on bed rest for a VERY long time and actually had LOTS of complications and it was just a big mess. But one time my then 4 yr old son asked me when the baby was gonna come out (it wasn't the baby he wanted- he was just so ready for me to not be on bed rest anymore) and I told him not until my belly got bigger and he said: "it gets bigger and bigger and then bursts open and the baby flies out with all your blood and guts?" Lovely, huh!? It ended up that I had to have a c-section so my kids think that babies are 'cut' out and often ask to see my 'cut'. Sorry, not much help for ya. Kids are so curious about how it all works yet they don't know that they are just too young to understand it all. PS- Melanie Vaden is in my ward, small world, huh? Also, we have some Magleby's in our ward and they have some family that live in or near Dubai- wonder if you know them?

  14. I think it's so fun you are having a baby. I do miss those years. I always liked asking what they thought because then I would know what they were really asking. Usually they were afraid for my health or even my life. They hear a lot about it hurting for mom. Rachel was very concerned about blood coming out of me since that horrifies her. It seems that the most important things for my kids to know was that there is a special openning for babies and also that it can be painful for mom but not usually the baby and the pain is worth it and doesn't last too long. Good luck with the baby.